Can't get rid of IT...

Hay,, :( I am so down this week. So many issues and I can't get rid of it. I know that problems will make me stronger as a person pero nakakabaliw minsan. I tried to ignore it many times pero I'm still affected. Siguro ganun talaga because I am part of this family and I'm "IN" it. Yeah, there were times naman that I got tired of thinking those things and I'm wishing na ganun na lang palagi or manhid na lang ako.

If I will ask myself if mature na ba ako, masasabi ko hindi pa TOTALLY  (but I'm really trying) 'coz there are things in my life that I can't face or fully accept.

Being a crybaby? Yup, ganyan ako. Madali talaga akong maiyak. Sometimes, kahit sa sobrang inis ko lang naiiyak na ako.


PART 1

Relationship with my:

Mom: My mom and I -- we're not the typical mother-and-daughter na close. We don't have this bonding na meron yung ibang. I don't know bakit ganun pero siguro dahil sa busy siya sa work (which is naiintindihan ko naman 'coz it's for our family) and dahil na din siguro sa malayo yung agwat namin as mother-and-daughter. She's already 68 and I'm 20. Yung ganyang edad is for Lola and Apo na. Hehe. Pero seriously 'di ba? I'm not offended when people asks me if she is my "Lola". Natatawa na nga lang ako eh and when I answer them back, "She's not my Lola, nanay ko siya", I can see through their faces na gulat sila -- moment of silence muna then they'll say na, "Talaga? Ang tanda na pala ng mom mo" (Hehe. pero it's ok lang naman. Not a big deal once na may nagsasabi ng ganun 'coz sanay na din ako. :)). Kami ni mommy, we have our fights (not cat fights. Hehe). Madalas na ganun, 'coz we're different. When it comes to ugali, the way she thinks, the way she handle things, the way she react/ act on a situation, etc. Ganun siguro talaga kapag malayo yung age gap, madalas mag-clash. And my mom, she's like "I'm always right", that's her ugali na 'di ko kayang i-handle kaya ayun, nagkaclash kami. FULL OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS.